Boo.

Sing a Guitar Song

Love is undoubtably the most popular song topic but what's runner-up? I bet the guitar makes the top five list (trains might be on there, too). It's probably because when a songwriter gets writer's block, he realizes he's holding his inspiration in his hands.

Here are a few examples.

* Well, I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk.
-- "Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen

* Get a second-hand guitar
Chances are you'll go far.
-- "Taking Care of Business," Bachman-Turner Overdrive

* I never got angry with my guitar
'Cause when I strike a chord
It gives me what I want to hear.
-- "I Like to Live the Love," B.B. King

* My only pride and joy
Was this racket down here
Bangin' on an old guitar
And singing what I had to say.
-- "Slow Turning," John Hiatt

* Well, he couldn't ride or wrangle
And he never cared to make a dime
But give him his guitar
And he'd be happy all the time.
-- "Tennessee Flat-top Box," Johnny Cash

* The more I play it, the better it sounds
It cries when I leave it alone.
-- "This Old Guitar," Neil Young

* You may drive around your town
In a brand new shiny car ...
But if you really want to taste some cool success
You better learn to play guitar.
-- "Play Guitar," John Mellencamp

* "Check out Guitar George
He knows all the chords.
-- "Sultans of Swing," Dire Straits

Additions always welcome.

'Dead Flowers' Comes Alive

The Rolling Stones' "Dead Flowers" has been covered by a slew of people -- everyone from Guns 'n Roses to Wilco. And now me.

This actually was an epic development for me, seeing as how the Rolling Stones are the greatest band to ever take a stage and seeing as how "Dead Flowers" is one my favorite Stones songs. Plus, I picked it up all by lonesome.

Like a lot of Stones' songs, the chords are pretty basic -- A, G, D and a couple of easy variations. Dsus2 and Dsus4 (they're not nearly as difficult as they sound) are my new favorite chords.

Needless to say, my version of "Dead Flowers" is not as quick paced as some covers -- more like the slow, melancholy way that Townes Van Zandt did it -- but I could recognize it. I gave me that feeling of accomplishment and I even felt good enough to sing it (the only thing worse than my guitar playing is my singing).

(Observant readers, perhaps even Woody Bombay, may be doing some head-scratching over the photo. Yes, it's a Photoshop forgery perpetrated for the sake of this post. I don't think "Dead Flowers" was ever released as a single.)

I'm Going to Be a Solo Act

The guitar and I are approaching a crossroads but I don't see anyone lurking about, waiting to see what I'll give up in exchange for dazzling guitar ability. I guess my soul has depreciated too much to generate much of an offer.

Anyhow, I'll be walking down the road solo now. I told Mark the guitar teacher that I was going to take one more month of lessons and then knock off indefinitely. That will give me almost exactly a year's worth of lessons, which was my original plan -- and it's not often that I stick with a plan.

I certainly plan to stick with the guitar, though, through whatever I can glean from DVDs, books and the terrabytes of online lessons that are out there. My enthusiasm for the it hasn't waned and I'm sure I'll keep playing everyday. But leaving Stancill's Guitar Studio will be a tad bittersweet. Scott the owner has always been very accommodating and friendly and Mark the guitar teacher couldn't be more patient, encouraging or knowledgeable.

It will be a handicap not having a real live teacher to answer my dumb questions. But the biggest problem I have with video lessons and books is that they go along at a nice understandable, comfortable beginner's pace for a while and then suddenly fall of the table, turning into a jam session with Eddie Van Halen and Joe Satriani. One minute it's "put your second finger on the second string in the second fret ..." and next thing you know the instructor is trying to add passing notes on the pentatonic scale. That's when I yell, "Whoa! You left out several hundred steps!" Even Nils Lofgren's lessons suffer from this.

A few months ago I mentioned to a co-worker that I had taken up guitar and she said, "Oh, wow, music is hard!" I can testify to that. And the guitar itself is so vast, meaning there is so much you can learn on so many levels.

A year ago I would have figured that a year's worth of lessons would have left me more accomplished than I am. I guess I underestimated the guitar but I'm really looking forward to learning more.

Leftovers

Here's another must-have item for the aspiring guitar player who doesn't want to commit to owning a guitar or playing one. Those buttons on the neck of the Air Guitar Pro represent chords and there's another to make them major, minor, augmented or diminished. The infra-red sensor at the end of the neck picks up your right-hand strumming and translates all that to guitar sounds. It has a built-in speaker or you can plug it in to externals.

A Japanese company makes them in acoustic and electric models and they come with pre-loaded songs so you can play along. They retail for $2,625 yen but that's only about 30 yankee dollars ...

Some words of guitar wisdom from Chet Atkins and John Hiatt have been added to the GUITARTALK sidebar over there on the right. And while we're at it, here's something else Chet said: "Years from now after I'm gone someone will listen to what I've done and know I was here. They may not know or care who I was but they'll hear my guitars speaking for me." Turns out he was right ...

Rock 'n' roll takes a toll. PaLG favorite Nils Lofgren is home in Arizona recuperating after double hip replacement surgery. Hopefully he'll be back when Bruce Springsteen plays the Super Bowl halftime show but it's doubtful he'll be doing any of those backflips off a trampoline ...

Random non-guitar-related observation: 72 percent of all blog posts begin with the words, "Well, it's been a long time since I've posted anything here ..."

Calling All Guitarists

I'm having trouble keeping up with technology. That Ovation guitar with the built-in mp3 recorder/player may already be obsolete. In fact, it's starting to sound like all guitars may soon be out of fashion because apparently all you need is an iPhone.

The iTunes application store has a $3 app called Guitarist that uses the iPhone touch screen (or an iPod touch) to simulate a guitar and "ensure you will never again find yourself guitar-less during an inspirational moment." You can scroll from first fret to 21st fret and strum at will and record what you play. You can even overdub and do effects. Pocketguitar is another app that does many of the same things.

Since I am narrow of mind and slow of wit I don't expect my cellphone to do much more than allow me to get that vital message about picking up a loaf of bread on the way home. But apparently those clever iPeople have all sorts of guitar-friendly apps -- tuners, chord guides, metronomes and such.

If I can't learn to play a guitar, maybe I can learn to play the phone.

An iNgenious iNnovation From Ovation

Ovation bred a guitar with an mp3 player and the result is an on-board recording studio that also provides lessons, accompaniment and help for songwriters.

The mp3 player/recorder on the iDea allows guitarists to record the musical bits and pieces -- including lyrics and notations -- they want to build into a song before they can flee the human memory. It comes with pre-loaded lessons and back-up tracks and more of both can be downloaded from your computer with a USB cable. If you have a song you want to learn, just load it on the iDea and play along.

The mp3 player is built into the left side and has a display screen, joystick, tone controls and microphone. It holds about 100 minutes of music.

Ovation has never been afraid to try something new. Who said soundholes have to be round and right in the middle? And why can't the bottom be rounded and made of something besides wood?

The iDea will be released on Nov. 1 and if you have about $600 and don't mind another high-tech product with a name starting with a lower-case i, it would be pretty cool.

Caption Contest

That's Australian musician Josh Pyke in the SS Maton, a larger-than-life replica of his Maton guitar. It was built for the video to his new song "Make You Happy." Here are some more pictures and here's a short video of the guitarboat's launch, which may inspire you to add to this not-totally-original list of potential captions.

1. Shortly after this photo was taken, the guitarboat was hit by a torpedo from a yellow submarine.
2. He hopes his latest innovation will make his performance of "Smoke on the Water" even more dramatic.
3. He suddenly found himself up the creek without a pick.
4. This young musician looks forward to the day when he can add a drumboat and bassboat to his band.
5. The introduction of the aquastic guitar was not expected to revolutionize music.
6. Don't try this with an electric.
7. Paul McCartney knew he had a song after seeing Admiral Halsey sail past him on the Thames.

Musical Politics

The Republicans are having trouble getting traction in the music world. A veritable Top 40 list of performers has complained about John McCain's campaign using their songs without permission.

Jackson Browne even filed suit to make McCain stop using "Running on Empty" in television ads that mocked Barack Obama's energy plan. Self-professed left-wing Democrat John Mellencamp was most unhappy that the Arizona senator was using "Our Country" and "Pink Houses" on the campaign trail, even though he had allowed John Edwards to use them earlier. New York Rep. John Hall, a Democrat and co-founder of the '70s group Orleans, demanded McCain quit using the group's big hit, "Still the One."

Van Halen ("Right Now") and the Foo Fighters ("My Hero") also asked that their songs be pulled from the McCain playlist and Heart sent a cease-and-desist notice because Sarah "The Barracuda" Palin was using their "Barracuda" without permission.

On the other side of the aisle, Sam Moore of Sam and Dave wanted Barack Obama's campaign to quit using "Hold On" and Hank Williams Jr. played recently at a Palin appearance in Virginia.

While Obama has been endorsed by Slash, former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul will have Jimmie Vaughan by his side if a guitar duel breaks out. The formerly Fabulous Thunderbird was the host and entertainment at the Rally for the Republic gathering that the libertarian-leaning Republican congressman put together in Austin in September.

Maybe what we need is a president who performs his own songs. Or maybe not. Ted Nugent has a new book, "Ted, White and Blue," in which he outlines how thing would be in a Cat Scratch Administration:

• Seize gas and oil from Mexico and the Middle East as payment for their debts
• Ship able-bodied Americans who refuse to work to Cuba, Mexico, England and France.
• Refuse to fund health-care for smokers, drug users and obese people who continue to eat fatty foods
• The death penalty for first-time meth, crack, heroin and opium dealers

(Let the record show that Nugent, once known as the Motor City Madman, is now the second most famous resident of Crawford, Texas.)

Enough of this foolishness. I'm going to listen to Lowell George and Little Feat do "Apolitical Blues."

Make Room for SRV in the HoF

I have just become aware of a gross injustice and would like to have a word with whomever votes on nominees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Actually, I'd like to have three words with those voters and those three words are Stevie, Ray and Vaughan. In that order.

I didn't realize until tonight that Stevie Ray Vaughan had become eligible for nomination to the hall this year, which marked the 25th anniversary of his first recording. He didn't make the cut but Jeff Beck, Chic, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials, Metallica, Run-D.M.C., the Stooges, War and Bobby Womack are on the list of nominees for the hall's class of 2009. Not that those acts aren't worthy but how in the name of Leo Fender could you leave out my favorite guitarist?

I'm not going to plead his case here because it would be stating the obvious and, besides, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is nothing but a tourist attraction anyway. But I would like to say that anyone who doubts Stevie Ray Vaughan needs to crank up "Texas Flood," "In Step" or "Couldn't Stand the Weather."

SRV may be about to suffer another posthumous snub in his hometown of Dallas. In the spirit of development, which always prevails in Dallas, the city wants to rename gritty Industrial Boulevard and Stevie Ray Vaughan Boulevard was one of the choices the City Council was considering back in the spring. But lately the leading contenders for the name have been Cesar Chavez (a non-Texan) or something generic like Riverfront Boulevard. Wouldn't that street sign on the right look nice? Maybe signing this online petition will help.

Had it not been for that helicopter crash in Wisconsin 18 years ago, Vaughan would have turned 54 on Oct. 3. On Oct. 5 some 1,500 motorcyclists in the Dallas area took part in the Stevie Ray Vaughan Remembrance Ride, which raises scholarship money for music students at an arts school in Stevie's old Oak Cliff neighborhood.

Guitar pick sidenote: Stevie held his picks sideways, which gave him a bigger striking surface.

Trivia

ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons revealed a crucial grooming secret in a recent interview with the Columbus, Ohio, Dispatch. Asked if he and bass player Dusty Hill ever trimmed those impressive beards, he said: "We don't have to. They get in the way of the guitar pick and they get their own trim" ...

If Manny's and Sam Ash's in New York aren't the most famous guitar stores in the country, McCabe's in Santa Monica, Calif., probably is. Not only do the big names buy there (George Harrison picked up a ukelele shortly before his death), they also play there in the store's concert hall. Bob Dylan took lessons there, too. McCabe's celebrated it's 50th anniversary this month with a big show that featured Jackson Browne, David Lindley and Richard Thompson. Here is LA Weekly's story on the place ...

Noted political commentator Slash has weighed in with an endorsement on the presidential race and, no, the former Guns 'n Roses guitarist isn't going to cast his vote for Les Paul. He's going with Barack Obama. "I agree with a lot of his stuff," Slash told an interviewer. No response from the disappointed McCain camp yet. For the record, Slash says he owns about 85 guitars and about 75 percent of them are Les Pauls ...

Cellphone Hero, anyone? In response to the iPhone, Nokia is introducing the 5800 XpressMusic, a touch-screen phone that comes with guitar pick that can be used like a stylus. It's a music phone -- get it?

Objets d' Guitart

Refrigerator magnets are cultural touchstones, just like T-shirts. In a few centuries anthropologists will be going through the debris of our civilization and studying these magnets, looking for clues as to how we lived our lives and saying, "Hmm, why don't these tiny guitars make music?"

These two guitar magnets adorn our humble suburban fridge. On the left is a Gibson modeled after B.B. King's Lucille (sorry, future anthropolgists, it's date of origin is unknown) and on the right is what I believe is a Les Paul Gibson, obtained from the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas in 1999.

No, I'm not just a super-talented musician. I'm an artist, too. At least I am when technology does most of the artwork. Here are a couple of my musically inspired creations from mrpicassohead.com, which is very fun site.

Just Hit Play

A few spins of the click wheel starts the month thusly:

• 'Sad Songs and Waltzes,' Willie Nelson
• 'Tennesse Stud,' Johnny Cash
• 'Basics of Love,' Ray Wylie Hubbard
• 'Down in the Hole,' Rolling Stones
• 'I'm Crying (live),' Stevie Ray Vaughan
• 'Dog Meat,' Flamin' Groovies
• 'Start Me Up' (live), Rolling Stones
• 'Wild Horses, (live), Rolling Stones
• 'Sweet Angeline,' Mott the Hoople
• 'Judgment Day,' Terri Hendrix
• 'The Golden Road,' Grateful Dead
• 'North to Alaska,' Johnny Horton
• 'Too Long in Exile,' Van Morrison